The art of friendship can sometimes feel like a difficult and energy-intensive art to master. You should not only treat another person the same way as you want to be treated yourself, you should also treat them the way they want to be treated - which might be totally different. Just as in any love relationship, you must succeed in understanding another person's needs and desires and doing your best to fulfill them while being true to yourself and your own personality. Many people have the expectation that a friendship should just evolve naturally. But I dare to say that it is not very common to experience a friendship where it just clicks without you having to put some effort into it.
As much as you yourself are a complex person, everyone else you meet (more or less) are equally so. And it is impossible for one single person to fulfill all of another persons needs, at all times. Sometimes it is wonderful to be with that friend of yours who always makes you laugh out loud, while at other times you may want to discuss your innermost thoughts with the one who is a good listener and gives you great advice. Sometimes these two are the same person, sometimes not. Sometimes you can say a joke to one friend whom you know is usually amused by it, while another one might just get offended. Another day the person that usually is amused by jokes is having a bad day and doesn't think it is funny at all.
But the art of friendship is the same as the art of love. You need to listen, be compassionate, be present, be caring and you need to let the relationship be guided by mutual understanding and love. It isn't more difficult than that. It is that difficult.
I remember one summer many years ago when I was a teenager and had no friend to hang out with (that is at least how remember it now). I wrote in my diary and wondered if I would always be this lonely. Fortunately that changed. I've made many friends. And by that I don't mean many acquaintances. I mean people that I actually feel are really close to me and with whom I can share all sorts of different thoughts, feelings and events with.
And I know how important it is to constantly nurture that friendship. Because no one can hold an arm outstretched forever, because then you get the cramps. Nobody has the energy to always listen to someone who has stuffed cotton in their ears. No one wants to be the rain gown that is forgotten as soon as it is sunny.
My friends know the art of making me feel loved and ok just as I am. They know the art of both listening and giving. They know the art of making everything feel bubbly and wonderful. They know the art of being Champagne. They know the art of friendship. And I promise myself to never take them for granted.
